I am a Bushhopper. People do bungee jumping, pup-hopping, party-pooping, show-stopping.... I do bushhopping. Hopping... with no hope. I hop like a grasshopper. But I dont hop on grass. I am hopping from one bush to the other. A bush is a little jungle, or rather an entangle of thoughts, words, worries, fears and confusions. It a mess. I hop from one bush to the other - hoping (not hopping) that someday the bush will be trimmed and I will stop. I will stop this endless journey to nothingness .. this struggle to escape..from nothing. My world is like bushes, and I am a bushhopper.

I hop from everything to everthing.. or from nothing to nothing. From men to boys to men to women. From smoking to alcohol to nirvana to peace to tears to laughter. I hop into hopelessness which pulls me in like a blackhole.. I emerge again after days of darkness like a ray of sunshine.. and then I plunge again. Frustrated.. The voice in me says get educated. I do.. and then I work.. and I stress.. and I look for friends.. and I find some.. and I laugh and play.. and there is only playfulness. Then there is lack of purpose. Then there is no more to dance and sing. Eclipse of the heart? No! Eclipse of the brain. My brain-dead me.. I try to hop out and hop into something else.. Sigh!